Honestly I hate my first boyfriend so much because he leaves a dent in every relationship I’ve had or will have. I feel awful when my boyfriend is telling me he doesn’t think I trust him and it’s not that. It’s complicated, my first boyfriend was manipulative and shitty and he cheated on me and just did so much wrong. It isn’t a lack of trust, I’m just scared. I’m never gonna get past that, I’m over /him/ but he kinda damaged the way I look at relationships and I’m just always afraid it’ll happen again.